I apologize to those of you that I have not talked to in a while. Everything has been going well in the Cox Household. Ryleigh is staying healthy, and doing great. Aubrey was able to go back to school for the last six weeks, and loved it.
March was a hard month, as I reflected upon what would have been, as we neared Marabeth's due date. Her due date had ranged between March 20, and March 25. I always saw her due date as being March 20, since that's what our first sonogram showed. The day after her due date, I felt such a peace about everything. I didn't realize how much that date had been affecting me. Two days later, I saw this beautiful rainbow in the sky. It truly melted my heart. I know that rainbow was not there for me, but it gave me so much happiness inside. It was in that moment that I truly felt a peace that everything was going to be okay.
Rod and I knew we wanted to expand our family. I knew that I needed to give my heart, mind and body time to heal from everything that has happened in the last year. When we both felt ready, we decided to open that door without taking it too seriously.
On April 10, just three weeks from Marabeth's due date; I found out we were PREGNANT! I looked at it, and just started crying. It brought on a different sweetness than what I have felt in past pregnancies. I felt that it was not only a gift from God, but Marabeth too. This baby would not have been without Marabeth.
I am currently 11 weeks pregnant. This baby does not replace Marabeth, or fill the missing piece that is gone without her. She will always be such an important part of our family. She made her mark on so many people in such a short time. Aubrey asks about her often, and is eager to see her. Last week during our prayer she said, "Thank you for God and Jesus. When I get to heaven, I will be scared, but I will get to play dress up with Marabeth.” So precious! I love that she has not been forgotten by her sister.
There is a term used for babies that come after a loss, called "Rainbow Babies." I found a description that I love...
"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."
I know that not every storm is followed with a rainbow. I apologize if you are someone that is true for. Sometimes we don't always know why we are faced with a storm, but I do believe it reveals itself in time. Although it’s hard to grasp when you are right in the middle of it, continue to cling to his truth.
This pregnancy has not brought on as much anxiety as I thought it would. I love Romans 8:28.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I know that no matter what the outcome of this pregnancy, this baby has purpose.
I do still have moments of fear though. A friend of mine reminded me to focus on a verse for this baby, and whenever I have fear, to return to that verse. I really like 1 Samuel 27-28. Hannah had prayed and prayed for a child, and God blessed her with one.
“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."
In five weeks I will go to the high risk doctor. We are hoping all looks well at that time. As of now, the predicted due date is December 21! We may have us a Christmas Baby! The holiday season has always been one of my favorite times of the year!
We ask for continued prayers as we go on this journey! We are so excited about this little life growing inside of me! We love you all! -Kam
Here are some pics of the fun ways we shared our news with family and friends!
Such a beautiful thing! I love seeing the two lines!
Tami found out when I showed up at her door, held out the pregnancy test, and started crying!
Rod found out after I put a bun in the oven with a note that said, "There's a Bun in the Oven!" I laughed so hard at how long he stared at the card before he figured out what it meant!
When we went to Longview to visit Rod's parents, I did the same thing to them. We had just eaten my favorite burgers in the world from a place called Butcher Shop. I took one of the buns and placed it in their oven with the same thing written on it. It was so much fun sharing the news to each of them individually!
I explained to the girls that Mommy was going to give them either another sister or a brother.I asked Aubrey,"Do you want another sister or a brother?" She responded with "a brother."She said, "I like boys and big girls."
I am not sure Ryleigh gets it yet. That's why her shirt says, "Big Sister in Training."
The night Tami and Zack announced to the Tate family that they were having another girl, is the same night that I announced Rod and I had some news too, and that we were also pregnant!
You can't see the card very well, but it says #16! This baby will be the 16th grandchild for my parents! Wow!
On Aubrey's last day of preschool, I let her wear her big sister shirt to school! Her teachers were so excited! We love you Mrs. Julie and Mrs. Laura!
My belly is growing so fast!
And that's okay with me!
Isaiah 61:3 "He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory."
1 comment:
I'm so very happy for your precious family. We'll be praying for this new little one in your family.
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